Returning after a break

[KateMoloney]

Hey Team,

What I’d love some support with right now is with my plan to re-enter the markets.

For context, we said goodbye to our baby a few weeks ago. There is the grief component which I have a lot of support with and am in the process of integrating. 

The other component is surgery recovery and hormonal imbalances, which causes things like forgetfulness, making silly mistakes and literally – pushing the wrong buttons on RT and IB. I am told this is very normal and should last another week or two. It is driving me batty, but it is what it is.

I’ve had 3 weeks off trading at full capacity. I stopped cold for 10 days, and then started trading a small amount just to keep a routine and stay abreast of the markets.
I’m thinking I need another week off trading at full capacity and then will enter the markets in stages eg trade at 25% capacity for a week, 50% for a week ….. etc. 

In the mean time I’ve been monitoring my systems that were under development and writing down a few ideas. Had a chat with a fellow trader yesterday which was really inspiring and looking forward to being back in the markets when the time is right.

Any other thoughts or suggestions on how else one could re-enter the markets would be appreciated. 
Its a very important part of a trading plan that is just as important as how we trade.

 

[JulianCohen]

I’m really sorry to hear about this Kate. Wishing you the best for the future.

I can’t really add much to what you have already worked out for yourself. If you feel like you can’t trust yourself on the administrative side 100%, as you have already identified, then going in at ¼ account size is a great idea.

You will know when the time is right. On that part you can trust yourself

[KateMoloney]

Thanks Julian.

The night I doubled up the orders in basket trader by accident and didn’t pick it up is when I knew I needed to pull back for a bit.

I was on the RT call on Friday and they talked about order clerk for automated trading. Marcel admitted it still makes mistakes and needs oversight. 
I’m of two minds whether it is worth exploring long term. Pretty sure even with order clerk in place, I would have stopped trading. Market will always be there …..
 

[Nick Radge]

Very sorry to hear Kate.

I think you should take more time off. Just drop the trading stuff for a while and focus on your mental health for a solid month at least.

The markets will always be there, and let’s face it, they’re absolute shit right now…

[JulianCohen]

Kate, listen to your mentor.

Maybe if you want to get your hands dirty then work out how to use Order Clerk but don’t switch it on yet.

I think the issue the boys on the RT forum are having with it is they want to fully automate the whole thing; download data, run RT, run OC and then check in at the end of the week and count your money.

I don’t fully automate. I run RT and then I run OC and place the orders. Doing it that way I have not had an issue with OC at all. When you are ready OC is very easy to use and it makes things very simple if all your orders are coming from RT scripts.

However, I would strongly suggest you listen to the guvnor and take some more time. Trust me you are missing nothing!!

[GlenPeake]

Sorry to hear the sad news Kate.

Like Nick/Julian have already said…..give yourself time to recover, markets will always be there and hopefully in a better state when you are ready to return.

[StevenPola]

Very sadden to hear your news Kate.
I wish you strength and healing as you move forward.

Trading can wait. Your well-being is more important.

[KateMoloney]

Thanks heaps everyone.

Yep, markets certainly are a shit show at the moment ….

[RobertMontgomery]

Kate, So sorry to hear about your loss, my prayers are with you and your family. Taking a break is the right thing to do, the markets will be here when you are ready.

[ScottMcNab]

My condolences Kate. I have struggled regarding what to say as we had the same experience and I find it hard to address. If you could permit me one recommendation it would be to take up any offers of counselling or discussion that are available. Twenty plus years ago we were waved out the door and wished the best of luck.  I watched my wife struggle with the thought that if only she had done something (or not done something) then the outcome may have been different. This oversimplification is not, of course, the reality of the complex biology involved and I hope today these issues and relevant information are shared and discussed.

Regarding the markets, I am sure that everyone here has your best interests at heart but if you feel that getting involved back in the markets is what you need right now then I think (for what little its worth) you should go for it. Your plan to scale gradually back in seems well thought out.
 

[ScottBilton]

Hi Kate, after reading your message there are no words that I can share to cover the depth of your loss. I wish you and your family full strength during this very difficult time, my thoughts and prayers are with you. I echo what others say, trading will always be there, but take care of yourself right now.

[KateMoloney]

Scott McNab post=14322 userid=5311 wrote:

My condolences Kate. I have struggled regarding what to say as we had the same experience and I find it hard to address. If you could permit me one recommendation it would be to take up any offers of counselling or discussion that are available. Twenty plus years ago we were waved out the door and wished the best of luck.  I watched my wife struggle with the thought that if only she had done something (or not done something) then the outcome may have been different. This oversimplification is not, of course, the reality of the complex biology involved and I hope today these issues and relevant information are shared and discussed.

Regarding the markets, I am sure that everyone here has your best interests at heart but if you feel that getting involved back in the markets is what you need right now then I think (for what little its worth) you should go for it. Your plan to scale gradually back in seems well thought out.

 

Hi Scott,

Thank you for sharing your family story and advice. Sorry to hear about your experience and that of your wife, it is a very difficult and even though complex biology is involved, some women do blame themselves. 

Not much seems to have changed since your time.

We terminated our pregnancy due to several major medical issues with our baby. It was no ones fault and has a 2% chance of happening again.

The Hospital (Catholic) and our GP tried to coerce us into keeping our baby despite clear evidence it wouldn’t live – or at best have a poor quality/short life.
Our termination process was deliberately sabotaged and had I not fought them, we would have missed the termination deadline.

We were told by medical experts we’d make great friends at the hospital while our baby was in ICU, my husband should quit his job, set up a go fund me page and build a relationship with a rich Aunt or Uncle. It was then insinuated we were bad parents because we weren’t willing to bring an unwell baby into the world and “do whatever it takes”.

Emotionally it was a lot at the time and thankfully, we’ve had a lot of support from family & friends.

The termination clinic offered counselling, which I tried at two different places, but it was pretty much about telling me I am a victim (which I am not).

Using the Demartini Method has really helped, it is a quality questioning process I’ve used for over 12+ years with various life challenges.
Last night I was part of a session which will be posted on you tube. I had some really big perception shifts and hope it will be a valuable resource for women in the future.

It has not been an easy journey, but every day there is progress. 

Finding meaning has helped e.g how can I use this experience to help others….

Whilst none of this is trading related, I believe the work I do on this part of my life is helping my trading, especially around mindset and processing life challenges. 

 

[ScottMcNab]

I have spent an hour or so trying to process this but still struggle to comprehend fully what you went through Kate. Your strength and resilience are inspiring.

[KateMoloney]

Thanks Scott.

All I’ve done is worked on my perceptions around the event – it hasn’t been easy and it takes work.

Being a parent means being a leader, with that comes difficult decisions.

One ah-ha I’ve had from integrating this experience is realizing that I am capable of seeing others biases and trusting myself, even in highly stressful situations. That will be a great skill to bring into trading.
 

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